This has got to be one of the silliest sports ever. Speed walking. Have you seen these guys? They look like they're gay and constipated. If I was at one of their 'races', when everyone else was handing out cups of water, or sports drinks, I'd be handing out Metamucil.
"Here, try this. Clear you right up!"
I have just one question: where do they practice? You couldn't walk like that around my old hometown, I'd tell you that much. You'd get beat up.
"Welcome to Huntsville!" Pow! Bam!
"Wait! I'm not gay! I'm a speed walker!"
"Yeah... we know." Bam! Pow!
"Ha! The force won't save you now, 'Luke' "
"What? Ow! I said 'speed walker' not 'Skywalker' !"